I tried, without success, to hide my grief from my husband. And it was painful to even try because I didn’t have the strength to pretend after sometime.

I wanted him to see me as “strong” and show him that nothing was going to knock me down. Not even the sudden death of my mom. I wanted to still show up as his wife, take care of our family, and prove that I was ok. But oh boy did the pain & grief from the sudden death of my mother karate chop me in half.

The little performance in my head that I thought I could pull off was unrealistic, unhealthy and damaging to my mental & emotional health.

So … I let myself fall apart. I let myself cry not just in the shower where he couldn’t see me, but right in his arms and out loud on my pillow at night lying next to him.

Giving myself permission to authentically grieve was freeing and healing . Because my husband could truly see me .. the REAL broken fragile me- that was in sorrow and filled with pain. And in that real space he was able to offer real love & comfort when I needed it the most.

Are you hiding your pain from those that love you and ultimately would want to support you? It’s a long heavy road if you do this alone..

Take it from me - you don’t have to do this alone.